Have you ever counted on how many times you criticize yourself in a day? All the criticism over small things. It probably goes like,
“Oh shit! I am so dumb to forget about this task.”
“I am so lazy.”
“Well, look at this new pimple on my face. I look so ugly.”
Even in jokes, I’ve heard people say bad things about themselves…but is it really funny?
The Adult Version of You VS The Child
If you could talk to your 5-year-old self, would you say all of those bad things you say about your ‘adult’ self to the kid?
Would you tell them that they’re ugly and lazy? Or that they can’t get anything properly? Of course, you wouldn’t.
So why do you say such things to your older version?
What Does 'Self-Love' Mean?
Self-love means not to criticize yourself over every little thing – your body, your efforts, and your mind.
If that one deal couldn’t be made, don’t tell yourself that you were dumb. No, I wouldn’t say that. Instead, I will tell you to improve and sharpen your skills to do crack a better deal.
If that one relationship fell apart because of your faults, I wouldn’t ask you to go and ruin it further. Instead, apologize. It’ll take time to get better but for sure, it will be.
Self love means acceptance. It means approving of yourself to get better.
How to Accept Yourself As You Are?
I know, self-criticism is a trap. Once you get in, you’ll go deeper and at one point, you won’t even have the confidence to look straight into someone’s eyes.
So, how to get out of this trap and start loving yourself again?
Go in front of a mirror (if possible, get a big one) and look at yourself in the eyes.
Maintain eye contact and say, “I love and accept you exactly as you are.”
Say the affirmation several times and each time you say it, feel it in your heart. Tell yourself the same thing everyday as you look into the mirror. Over time, you’ll start smiling as you say it.
And remember, the start of the process may feel harsh or dumb but as you heal more, you will realize how it worked.
Remember, healing starts with love, forgiveness, and acceptance.
If you want to start journaling, here are two articles you might like to read:
